Time, Time, Time…

233 days, still dry and the days fly by easily.

I mentioned in a previous post that I realized I had a lot of time now. Time that I’m not spending stranded at home because I’ve been drinking and shouldn’t drive. Time that I’m not putting in the frequent drinker miles running from my couch to the booze and fridge. Time that I’m not dragging my ass around trying to recover from the hangovers, re-hydrate or fix my gut. Time that I’m not wasting with a fuzzy brain thinking of the next day. Time that I’m now able to think clearly about what is in front of me. 

It wasn’t just physical time. It’s the psychological and emotional time. I’m not wasting time with the internal dialog of self recrimination of the ‘why did I do this to myself’. I’m not wasting time with the regrets of wasting time staring at the TV while I nurse another drink when I knew I could have been focusing on something better with my brain and heart.

Now that time is being spent being more relaxed, productive and mindful. I’m able to be more mindful in the moment. Mindful of what’s coming. Mindful of what’s past. But most of all, mindful of the present.

I set aside time to organize my to-do’s, goals and priorities for myself and family. I set aside time to run each week. I set aside time to support the wife in whatever she needs, whether it’s planning meals or picking up the house. I set aside time to spend with my grandchild that we are raising together. I try to set aside time for connecting to my own kids and mother. Of course, I set aside time for myself to do some of my own thing, like movie time or blogging or whatever whim is hitting me.

And a lot of that time, I’ve actually used to spend in mindful self examination. Asking myself, the challenging questions like do I like what I am doing and what can I change. Like improving my posture, my diet, my sleep and performing core exercises. Like improving my eating habits.

When I think about it, what I might have felt challenging while under the foggy brain  and indecision of alcohol seems to be easily accomplished in just a few minutes spread over time. There are so many things I can now pay attention too with such clarity that accomplishing things has become easy.

A short list of many things to feel good about now that I’ve changed.

 

Author: 21Buzzards

Mid-life retired reservist in the corporate IT world parenting a grandchild. Sharing my evolution as age and priorities impact life.

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