I Dream of Drinking

Yep, it’s true. With more than 450 days dry, it happens.

Does it mean, I feel conflicted about alcohol? I didn’t wake up tempted, so I guess not.

During the first dream, I felt the warming euphoria of the alcohol, in my dream. The spreading warmth and relaxing feeling was very reminiscent of the first good long pull of a tall strong one. As I thought back on that, I was suffering a stiff back and was sleeping with a pillow under the small of my back, which stretches out the lower spine. Sometimes in those situations, I feel something that stretches or moves just right and there is such a wave of relief from the discomfort. As I looked back, it became clear that it was just that kind of situation and the next morning my back was vastly improved and for the first time in a long time, I was well rested.

In the second instance, it was as much a recollection of memory from the days when I would enjoy hanging with fellow officers after a day of the grind, letting loose a bit and laughing it up. Was it really about the drinking? No.

It was about missing the time and the bond of connection with people I knew very well and worked closely with. I went through a lot with those guys and I And frankly, since I’ve moved to the Dallas /Forth Worth MetroPlex, working at home with continuing family responsibilities, I feel isolated with few acquaintances.

But I didn’t riddle myself with despair.

I allowed my self to recognize that I have a plan to overcome those feelings. I have actively joined a local civic organization and volunteered locally. I’m getting out a bit. I’ve gone out of my way to say hello to my immediate neighbors.  Now I’ve committed to recruiting some speakers for February to do presentations for the organization.

So, yes, I do have dreams about drinking. But I don’t dream of running out and grabbing a drink. There is a difference.

 

Author: 21Buzzards

Mid-life retired reservist in the corporate IT world parenting a grandchild. Sharing my evolution as age and priorities impact life.

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