Guilt from 1983

This is personally a hard post. I’ve started this numerous times. In 1979 I signed up for the U.S. Navy. That’s how, as a scrawny 6 foot tall awkward fairly athletic young man, I found myself deployed off the coast of Beirut on board the USS Virginia in 1983 with 550 other guys. As I understood it the Russians, Iranians and Cubans were working together to incite civil war in Lebanon. Our ship and others were intended to provide necessary support if called upon. Little did we know what was to come.  Continue reading “Guilt from 1983”

To hear the whisper of angels wings ….

This was a phrase I heard while in the military.File:Peter Paul Rubens - Music Making Angels - WGA20442.jpg

The context was that when you near death’s door you may hear the whisper of angels wings.

It’s a sensation of realizing how close to death you were. And how thankful you are that it was a close call rather than a foregone conclusion.

I can say I relate to moments when I might have been close to deaths door. There aren’t many of those moments.

The most poignant time resonated I felt this way, after drinking for years at an ever increasing rate, I realized that I was slowly killing myself. That was a Bingo. At that realization, that point of clarity of how definitively I was hurting, punishing and committing unintended suicide, I forced myself to cut back and eventually quit altogether.

Day 561 sober, feeling pretty dang good and still here.

 

The Pocketwatch

After my father passed, I received an old Waltham pocketwatch from his belongings. The story behind it was that he found it and attempted to find the owner. He even went so far as to contact the pocketwatch company and attempt to track the owner with the serial number. His effort failed.PocketWatch

As I thought about it, my dad was filled with a lot of conundrums. On one hand, he was a successful accountant, trusted by a lot of clients, carried a certain amount of prestige in our small two and was a president of the state CPA institute. And the pocket watch showed his desire to go above and beyond with honesty and pursuit of truth.

On the other side, he spent years in an affair while married to my mother. When discovered, instead of being clear about what he wanted and honorably facing up to his Continue reading “The Pocketwatch”

I Can Run Again And Thank Sobriety

I’ve been a runner since the early seventies. I joined Cross Country duand loved it. Being able to jog the trails in the cool early morning hours was a freeing experience even when I was competing with others. Continue reading “I Can Run Again And Thank Sobriety”

I Dream of Drinking

Yep, it’s true. With more than 450 days dry, it happens.

Does it mean, I feel conflicted about alcohol? I didn’t wake up tempted, so I guess not.

During the first dream, I felt the warming euphoria of the alcohol, in my dream. The spreading warmth and relaxing feeling was very reminiscent of the first good long pull of a tall strong one. Continue reading “I Dream of Drinking”

Security Camera Systems – What I want

If you saw my previous experiment with Zmodo Mini Wifi, you realize it was just one step in my figuring out security camera systems.

Why do I want a security camera system? Because security camera systems can be implemented that cause little or no impact to your life. I’ve had old fashioned alarm systems and frankly have had sub par experiences regardless of how simplistic or sophisticated they are supposed to be. Not because of the engineering or design, but because of the users (room mates, spouse, off spring, and visitors) unwilling to learn and use the systems. Of all the security systems I’ve had, the only person I could count on to actually use them was myself. And basically that meant they were useless.

However, with a security camera system, there is no active arming or disarming. It normally won’t cause an alarm to go off and scare someone off, but it certainly would provide a means to prosecute
someone. And, after setting up the necessary parameters, the only thing I would need to do is manage the video memory. I wouldn’t have to count on anyone else to ensure they arm a system or check a zone or choose the right option, etc. Movement alerts would be ideal. Movement alerts I can adjust are far better. And the more discrete and functional the cameras are the better.

That’s my logic for wanting a security camera system.

With the experiences I’ve had, I would like to have a set of IP addressable cameras where the streaming or pictures are captured to a NAS in my own network. If cloud storage is inexpensive enough, I’d be game for that so long as the price and retention are long enough and the

I don’t want to deal with proprietary code or strain my tech skills to crowbar a solution in place. I can handle straight forward DIY efforts that don’t require significant skill, but I’ve played around enough to realize that the time invested relative to the quality and benefit are significantly not in favor of a DIY solution inside my skill set.

That’s a simple run down of what I want and some of my logic.

Kaizen – I did that!?

I’ve been working incrementally on me.

And without realizing it, I was doing something that has a cool name like Kaizen.

I’ve been working incrementally on me.

And without realizing it, I was doing something that has a cool name like Kaizen.

What is Kaizen? The best explanation comes out of an episode by the Art of Manliness hosted by Brett Baxter and his guest, Robert Maurer called “The Kaizen Method — Get 1% Better Each Day”

Basically Kaizen is a form of continuous improvement in an incremental fashion. Originally brought to public attention through corporate culture to improve Japanese manufacturing after World War II, the podcast discusses how it can be applied individually.

How does it relate to my situation? Because all of the personal changes small and large, have come about in a very incremental way. I would identify one thing that I didn’t like and set about to address that one thing.  Continue reading “Kaizen – I did that!?”